


Wrecked

by irrelephanthumour



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:13:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrelephanthumour/pseuds/irrelephanthumour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The angels have fallen. Cas is human. And lost. Dean needs to find his friend, his angel and while he's at it, maybe work through a little emotional baggage as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Rating my increase. Still not sure exactly how graphic I'll be later on.**

**Anyway enjoy :)**

* * *

 

They’ve fallen.

The angels have fallen.

In a single night they have seen the sick twist on the ever romantic shooting stars phenomenon occur above their heads. A phenomenon that they have had quite a hand in helping to create.

The knowledge that Castiel must be among those that have fallen is just the icing on the messed up cake that is their lives. It figures that when they have finally fully managed to welcome someone new into their little family something happens to them.

Because that’s what happens to them isn’t it? Everyone they love and care about gets hurt. Why should Cas be any different?

 _Because he IS different,_ Dean muses while he watches the angels falling to the earth that they were charged to look after, _but then again, he has constantly defied Heaven and “what should be” so why wouldn’t he, of all of them, be the one to be severely screwed over by the powers that be?_

Then again, on the other hand, for a guy that has sacrificed so much for humanity already surely the big guy upstairs – wherever he may be – could cut Cas a break. Let him exist in relative security with the brothers that have brought him into their little family and without whom he would be a bit lost in the world.

And doesn’t that thought stick just a little because where is Cas?

 

* * *

 

 

The wetness on his cheeks is a new sensation. He’s aware of what tears are and what they are a result of – he’s been around for long enough that there are few human experiences that he doesn’t know about – but he’s a little in awe of now experiencing the sensation for himself.

Just the first of many things he will experience for himself in the coming times he supposes, the thought twinging a little as the reality of his having fallen and lacking his grace begin to sink in.

He’s human. Human. No longer an angel. And he feels…

 _Less_ he thinks to himself, _and yet….slightly more. I’m finally a full member of this marvellous creation of Father’s_

And yet the thought niggles that for however much he may enjoy spending time amongst humankind and possibly could adapt – _well I’ll have to now –_ his brothers and sisters are not so well equipped for this situation. He can turn to Dean and Sam and he knows they will help look after him, but for his siblings this will be a harsh new reality for which they are ill-equipped to deal.

_Sam and Dean._

He must find a way to get back to them, it’s the only way he can start to work towards making things right again. And the trials, dear Father, what are they going to do about the trials?

A million thoughts clog his head, spinning and spiralling out of control before one thought solidifies once more.

_Sam and Dean._

He has to get back to them. First he supposes he should find out where he is and then work to getting back. Looking around Cas notices a dim glow on the horizon that he knows is typical of a human town or city.

_That’s my best bet I suppose. Better get a move on or they might get mad._

With that thought in mind, the battle worn and weary angel turns towards civilisation and his way – he hopes – back to the brothers.

 

* * *

 

_Dammit Cas, where on this earth could you possibly be right now?_

The realisation that they’ve registered hundreds of angels hitting the earth all over the globe hasn’t helped raise Dean’s spirits one jot and it sinks in that they have no idea where Cas is.

And that is just not what Dean wanted to think about right now. He’s barely been keeping it together trying to get Sammy through the trials and now his angel is missing.

_Woh woh woh MY angel? When did I start thinking of Cas as mine exactly? Well actually, I guess, for a while now really – hell everyone else seems to call him mine. And if that stupid trench-coat wearing idiot goes and gets himself killed because he can’t function as a human and I haven’t told him that he is actually important to me? To both of us?_

Dean knows he’ll never forgive himself if that comes to pass.

“Come on Sam, ideas! We’ve gotta find him!”

Sam looks over at his brother, a cheeky call right on the tip of his tongue but the deadly serious look on Dean’s face, which is now tinged with worry, convinces him to shut up and work harder to find Cas.

 

* * *

 

_Finally! People!_

Cas walked into the dingy looking bar, thankful that at last he’d found civilisation.

The walk back to the nearby town he’d seen the glow of, had been long and tiring and although a few cars had driven past, what the drivers seemed to want in return for their services was not something Cas ever wanted to do with anyone

_Except Dean_

Well ok, yes, except Dean, because at this point in time Cas knows his feelings for Dean and they are not strictly platonic. Far from it in fact. But as Dean’s never made a move – other than some serious longer-than-strictly-necessary-eye-contact moments – Cas won’t force anything. Dean, and Sam, are his family now and he’ll be damned ( _again)_ if he’ll screw that up on unreciprocated feelings.

If Dean showed any sign of reciprocation however

_Well I’d be on him in a heartbeat, no questions asked_

Cas smirked at the image of him jumping Dean and the shocked look that would doubtless appear on the younger Winchesters face at the action.

“Can I help you son?”

Cas, startled out of his thoughts, looked over to see a stout, matronly looking woman peering at him from behind the bar.

“Excuse me?”

The woman rolled her eyes good naturedly,

“I said ‘Can I help you son?’”

Cas’ face brightened, a smile working its way across his tired features

“Yes please! I seem to have gotten lost. Would it be alright if I borrowed your phone and made a quick call?”

“You go right ahead hun, phone’s over there.” she pointed to the back of the bar, “There are spare quarters in the jar next to it if you’re broke”

“Thankyou” Cas replied, the smile still largely apparent on his face as he hurried to the back of the bar, quickly dropping a quarter in the machine and dialling the familiar number.

_Please Dean, please pick up!_

* * *

 

 

They’ve been at this for hours, calling everyone they know that knows anything at all about locating fallen angels and so far they’ve come up with squat.

The stress of time passing and the anxiety of still not having found a solid lead on Cas is starting to show on Dean and Sam thinks it’s time for a mental health break.

“Dean I’m gonna order pizza, you in?

Dean looked up at his baby brother, stress clearly evident on his face

“Dude, Cas is still missing, we don’t have a single lead and you wanna eat pizza?!” Dean finishes, slightly yelling and now standing in front of Sam.

Sam, for his part, just looks Dean squarely in the eyes and replies with a simple

“Yep”

Dean sighs, “Sammy…”

“No Dean, I’m wrecked, you’re wrecked! And we’re not going to get anywhere unless we keep ourselves going and that involves food. Now I’m gonna order and if you want something other than what I’m going to order, tell me now.”

The stone look on Sam’s face convinces Dean that he really must look like crap and even though he hates to admit it, Sam’s right. He has to keep himself functioning in order to find Cas, and he HAS to find Cas dammit.

“Alright alright grab something smothered in meat for me will ya?” Dean smiles at Sam, wondering when it was that he was able to be looked after by his baby brother and not worry about putting too much responsibility on his shoulders.

 _Probably around the same time as someone else starting looking out for you_ that sneaky little voice in his head whispers and Dean knows it’s right.

It surprised him to no end that someone, anyone, particularly an angel for goodness sake had been bothered to rescue him from hell and then to help he and Sam out with so many different things over the years? Cas was one of a kind that was sure. Dean still wasn’t sure that he was worthy of being rescued, but he has come to accept, in some small measure, that maybe he does matter enough to just a few people that he can start to fully trust that they’ll look out for him.

For one of those people to be Sammy, no problem. As much as he rags on his brother for being a nerd and not as gutsy as himself, Dean knows Sam can hold himself and those he cares for and will protect them in any way he deems necessary – the trials being a prime example of that. As much as it may surprise Dean that he is able to rely on his brother as much as he does, in some ways it’s not a surprise at all. Sam’s a Winchester after all.

Castiel on the other hand. Well Dean had no reason to believe that an angel of the lord, who really only rescued him because of Divine orders or some such, would ever be someone who could relied upon and trusted as much as he is.

Sure Dean has issues with the number of times Cas has just up and disappeared on them – often for no apparent reason – but even he will admit that the fact that Cas keeps coming back, no matter the rubbish that the three of them go through, is a massive marker in the angels favour.

A muffled buzzing cuts through Dean’s musings and the rumble of Sam’s voice ordering pizza in the other room. Searching around, he finally discovers his phone in his pocket, happily buzzing away, an unknown number flashing on the screen. Warily he answers

“Hello?”

“Dean?”

Dean’s heart stops at the sound of Cas’ voice in his ear.

“Cas! Are you ok? We saw the angels falling to earth. Where are you? We’ll come and get you”

Over the phone Dean hears a muffled,

“Excuse me miss...”

It’s a few seconds before Cas is back on the phone, giving Dean the name of a bar in a town, thankfully not even an hour away.

“Ok just sit tight Cas I’m going to come get you. Don’t move you hear me? Do not leave that bar!”

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to make my sitting down more tight Dean, but I will not leave. I promise”

Dean hangs up, those words running through his head, _I promise._ Words he’s never heard from the angel before.

_He must be pretty messed up. Time to go get him._

Dean quickly fills Sam in as he grabs the keys to the Impala and practically runs out the door.

Gunning the car down the road towards Cas, Dean’s thoughts are a riot

_He’s ok. At least he’s ok. Probably not an angel anymore. Almost definitely not an angel anymore. But its ok. He’s ok. We’ll see him soon._

Dean’s hands tighten on the steering wheel as he pushes the car faster down the road towards his missing angel.


	2. Chapter 2

A million and one different thoughts race through Dean’s head as he speeds towards the bar where Cas is waiting for him. The one emotion that keeps coming up though is relief. Pure relief that his angel, his friend, is ok – for the most part in any case – and that soon, Cas will be back under his protection.

 _Not that he’s ever really needed protecting. The guy’s an angel of the lord for crying out loud. He just has to show a glimpse of his true form and people are forever blinded. Hardly a damsel in distress there_ Dean muses.

While that may be true, Dean can’t help but think that the way the angel distinctly didn’t answer his question about whether he was ok or not, may mean than something has happened to Cas. Something bad – aside from the whole watching all of his brothers and sisters fall from heaven deal. Something that might mean the angel does need protecting now, and he’ll be damned if anyone else is going to provide it for the angel except for him.

Further relief courses through Dean’s body as he sees the streetlights and welcome sign letting him know he’s reached his destination. The bar that Cas described is fairly easy to find – small towns only tend to have one big bar so all he needs to do is look for all the cars and sure enough, a large neon sign proclaims this to be the local drinking hole where Cas is.

As he parks, a knot builds in his stomach as the apprehension builds.

_What if something HAS happened? The other angels fell. Did he? What if he’s hurt?!_

The first two questions he can’t even begin to fathom but at least Dean knew the answer to the last one. If Cas was hurt then no matter what, Dean would be finding whoever was responsible and beating a good load of crap out of them, come hell or high water. He found it a little surprising to realise he felt so…territorial about Cas. As much as people commented on the angel belonging to Dean, he’s always associated those sorts of claiming emotions – the one’s that make him want to growl ‘Mine!’ at anyone else eyeing off his property – with people he’s been in relationships with. So what did it mean that he was now apparently applying that principle to Cas?

 _Well isn’t that an interesting idea?_ Dean’s inner voice chimed in, _being in a relationship with Cas._

_The angel._

_YOUR angel._

_The man that has never shown any indication of being romantically interested. You think you’re interested in Cas? The man who constantly skips out on the only family he has here on earth and has left you and Sam time and time again?_

Dean knows all of this - has battled with Cas’ constant disappearing from the very beginning. Taking it as a sign that, like everyone else in his life, Cas will eventually leave and not come back. Has seen Cas do exactly what he hated – leave him and Sam time and time again.  Had just done it again. And whatever it was the Cas had set out to do, somehow, the end result was the angels falling. Even though Dean had tried to convey how much he thought Cas locking the doors behind him wasn’t the best or even the only option, Cas had gone to do it anyway. Leaving them. Leaving Dean. Again. It always happened. Cas always left. And Dean hated it.

Yet an even smaller voice pipes up inside him to whisper that Cas came back. Every single time. Even when he had no memory of who he or the brothers were, they eventually got him back. Hell Cas had even managed to come back from Purgatory – something that even to those in the know about the supernatural seemed an impossible task.

So as much as he may have scoffed at Cas calling their bond “profound”, even he can’t deny that they’re drawn to each other, something brings Cas back to them – to Dean - time and time again.

All of these thoughts have raced through Dean’s head by the time he walks into the bar, scanning the crowd for a tan trench coat topped by a head of black hair. Sure enough he quickly spots him sitting at the bar chatting to the bartender, looking for all the world like he visits this spot every night and is just one of the regulars.

As he walks over Cas throws his head back, laughing at something the bartender says and for a moment a hot flush of jealousy rushes over Dean until he reins it in with a stern _CHILL OUT DUDE_

Cas must sense him coming because sooner than Dean is prepared for there are two universe-deep blue eyes staring into his own and he feels like he’s had every ounce of air stolen out of his lungs. Cas’ eyes have always been stunning (not that Dean has thought about that at all) but now there is…something sitting in those blue depths that hasn’t been there previously, and it takes a few moments before it hits Dean exactly what that something is.

Pain.

Unadulterated pain.

Very _human_ unadulterated pain.

That stops Dean short, bringing him to a standstill just a few inches from Cas and the eyes that are currently telling him more than words will. There’s relief and sadness floating in those eyes as well, and while it’s not like Cas has never expressed those emotions through speech before, seeing the evidence of them in his eyes has Dean reaching forward to grasp the angel’s shoulder, almost as if to verify that he is really sitting there in front of him.

“Hello Dean”

The words reverberate through Dean’s body and he realises that he’s been standing there looking into Cas’ eyes for quite a bit longer than would be considered standard practice. Clearing his throat he replies a little shakily,

“Hey Cas,” clearing his throat again, “you’re ok?” he asks, as he scans his angel up and down for any evidence of physical harm

“I am largely unhurt Dean, but I’m not sure if I can truly claim to being ‘ok’”

That’s ok, Dean thinks to himself, they can deal with the hurts, both physical and emotional, but for now the certainty that standing here in front of him is Cas, whole, with memories and alive in the world is enough for Dean to feel an incredible wave of relief wash over him as he pulls Cas into a hug, wrapping his arms around the angel and tucking his head in the crook of his neck.

“You stupid son of a bitch, Cas” he mumbled into the angels neck.

Cas for his part, wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and felt some small measure of solace settling over him as he soaked up the smell and presence of the hunter.


	3. Chapter 3

Pleasantries are quickly exchanged with the lady behind the bar who assures Dean that bedraggled looking Cas had caused her no issues whatsoever and had in fact been delightful company and provided some sorely missed intellectual conversation while she continued to work. Dean figured it couldn’t hurt to have a bit to eat – he had skipped out before pizza had arrived and was pretty sure Cas wouldn’t have eaten since he fell – and so he ordered food for the both of them and sat up on one of the high stools there to await their meals.

Perhaps the most surprising thing, however, was that through the entire exchange between Dean and the bartender, Cas had remained quiet and close. Not even his normal, awkwardly-within-personal-space close, no, Cas remained glued to Dean’s hip, one arm slung around the hunter’s waist where it had come to rest during their hug. For his part Dean was unfazed, simply holding his arm around the angel’s shoulders and tucking him into his body as if he was made for the spot and had always occupied it. When they both moved to sit up on the stools to await their food the contact remained, now with Cas’ fingers loosely entwined with Dean’s and resting along the hunter’s thigh.

It should feel awkward, Dean knows this, but he cannot for the life of him care about it. He has Cas right there next to him, in relatively good condition and if he hasn’t completelyfigured out his feelings towards the angel, _face it Winchester you know you’re already pretty far gone on the guy,_ well that’s something he can sort out in greater detail later. For now he’s simply going to enjoy spending time with his angel – well, former angel as it would appear to be from the tale Cas it telling.

They finish their food, catching up on what exactly happened with the trials, joking with the bartender and sharing each other’s space, and then they’re walking out of the bar towards the end of the parking lot where the Impala is parked, a peaceful sort of quiet having settled over them for the moment. It’s only once they’ve long lost sight of the small towns lights and the Impala is steadily eating up tarmac beneath her wheels that the silence is finally broken by Cas clearing his throat.

“Dean?”

“Yeah Cas?”

“Thankyou.”

“For what?”

“For coming to get me.”

“Of course I came to get you. You’re family. Family sticks together.”

“But after everything that’s happened…I wouldn’t blame you for leaving me to my fate...”

“Cas,” Dean cuts in sharply, “I’ve told you before that I’ll take you cursed or not. So you’ve made mistakes? Ok big deal. Sammy and I are hardly innocent of that and you’re trying to rectify your mistakes…can’t ask much more of a guy than that,” Cas smiled softly as Dean grumbled and cleared his own throat, “and you know, I meant what I said before. That we…I…need you. That’s just…it’s just how it is you know?...”

Dean’s voice petered out as a huge grin bloomed across Cas’ face but a quick question to the former angel only got a smile and a shrug in response so Dean turned his attention back to the road in front of him.

A different sort of silence settled into the space in the car, one that seemed to have a slight charge to it, a faint hint of lightning swirling around them.

An hour later Cas finally succumbed to the fatigue plaguing his body and after tilting his head back against the car seat had slid across after a corner to wedge his head against Dean’s shoulder. After the initial millisecond of shock the hunter realised he didn’t have the heart to move him and so let him burrow further into his warmth as he drove along.

And if cold fingers found their way down to calloused ones just barely holding onto the bottom of the steering wheel? Well it only made sense to wrap them up with his hand and try to coax some warmth into them after all.

\-------

Hours later sees the Impala pull up to the bunker in the chill dark of the first hours of the day. Dean nudges Cas awake from his position burrowed into Dean’s side and leads him into the bunker. After a quick guide towards the amenities Dean shows Cas to his room where he collects clothes for the former angel to change into, the vague thought of purchasing new clothing in the coming days quickly flitting through his mind.

As they wander down the hallway to the bathroom, being particularly quiet past Sam’s door, Cas’ hand finds its way into Dean’s and the hunter pushes any doubts and discomfort from the unfamiliar action to the back of his mind to be dealt with at a later date. For now the well-being of his angel comes first. With the small pile of clothing and towel deposited in the bathroom Dean murmurs quickly that he won’t be far before retreating back down the hallway as Cas sets to washing away the dirt and fatigue from the past hours.

Cas makes his way back into Dean’s bedroom, startling the hunter from the novel occupying his attention. Taking in Cas’ more relaxed posture and the colour brought to his cheeks from the heat of the shower has Dean swallowing against the lump in his throat before standing up and declaring it his turn to shower and walking up to go past the former angel still stopped inside his doorway.

Later Dean will claim the exhaustion of having been stressed from trying to locate the former angel combined with the long hours of driving had temporarily switched off any warning bells and barriers in his head but when Cas offers him a small smile at his offer to make himself out home in the bedroom Dean quickly leans in to place a chaste kiss on the raggedy looking man’s cheek.

A split second is all it takes for the realisation of what he’s doing to set in and then he’s scurrying down the hallway to lock himself in the bathroom, unable to see the smile bloom brighter across Cas’ tired face.

\----

When Dean finally musters up the courage to walk back to his room after a scorchingly hot shower he enters his room to see Cas standing with the photo of his mum in his hand and a soft smile on his face, seemingly enraptured by the blonde woman depicted. Dean clears his throat gently to let Cas know of his presence and is floored when Cas turns piercingly blue eyes on him, pinning him in place, watching wide eyed as ruffled hair comes closer and closer before stopping well within his personal bubble.

“Cas?...”

“Mmm?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking,” Dean chuckles at the look of consternation that crosses the former angels face, “that you have no idea how good of a man you really are Dean Winchester.”

Before he has a chance to react there are lips on his and strong hands coming to rest on his shoulders, holding him in place. Dean fails to react for the first few seconds before the air leaves his lungs and he melts into the kiss, eagerly giving back to the chapped lips working against his and working his hands  up to palm a strong jaw and weave into unruly hair.

Cas, for his part, take this as encouragement and backs Dean up against the wall, slotting their bodies together and running his  tongue along the seam of the hunter lips, diving in hungrily when granted access while Dean continues to fall further and further into the kiss. Calloused hands come to grip stronger and harder as if afraid the slightly smaller man in front of him is going to slip away suddenly. Breaths become laboured as both hunter and former angel break from each other as little as possible, dragging in just enough air to be able to dive back into each other once more.

Dean’s mind has become devoid of any thought beyond just how good it feels to give into the feelings that have slowly cropped up and have then made themselves more apparent in the past few days. The fact that his angel is here, right now, kissing him is the greatest release and relief and as the dark-haired man’s hands run through his hair and scrape fingernails across his scalp leaving him looking thoroughly debauched, Dean hands himself over to the feeling of being turned inside out for the man in front of him and the realisation that he is completely wrecked for anyone else.

 

* * *

 

 

Hi all! Thanks for reading and apologies that this took so freaking long to finish. It's not really where I saw this finishing up (I originally had a much more nsfw idea in mind) but I found I liked the more tender ending to it.

Massive shoutout to [Mnemos9](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mnemos9/pseuds/Mnemos9) for reminding me that people have read the first bit of this and would like to see the end of it. Sometimes I forget that not everyone's in my head to see all the delicious things I get these boys to do!

Comments and constructive criticism sincerely welcomed! :)

 


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